This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
