the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
