Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
