yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
