What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well I just put wine in my tea
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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