Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
