it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
