Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
