Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
