If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
