if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
