Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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