i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
