Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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