He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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