I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
