Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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