I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
