She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
