I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
