No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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