I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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