What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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