we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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