I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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