My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
