she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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