Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize