Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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