I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize