I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize