I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so let's talk penis.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
