New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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