Im at strip club and am horny
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
