when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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