so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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