Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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