I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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