Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she told me i tasted like america
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
