he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
