my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think i have two assholes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
