dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
