Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
A+ Viking dick
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