Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
