I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
