Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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