Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
