I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
