Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize