I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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