My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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