shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
