Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
