All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
