The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
