She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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