11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
