and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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