awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
