bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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