I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
