You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
