): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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