I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
