I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
