It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
