Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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