Duck Duck Cougar?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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