I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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