what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
